Definition of Success

As I look over the list of prompts for January, I’m a little sad because I realize there are so many good ones that I haven’t had a chance to tackle yet… and then I remember that there is no rigid timeline that demands that I use all of them THIS month. (Thank goodness!) Anyway, I chose one that I know will product a vulnerable post. Bear with me! The prompt is: “How has your definition of success evolved?”

I’ve actually been thinking a lot about success lately… or rather, thinking more about failure. It’s no secret to anyone who knows me or has been around lately that the last 2 1/2 years or so have been very difficult, in ALL the ways. The health issues that started in 2022 kicked off what often feels like a season of failure. Or at least, inability. I have been unable to maintain my business at the level I feel it needs to be, to pay our bills, or manage the debt we accrued because of the health issues. And on top of that, we have had a LOT of help along the way, so in some ways that feels like an even heavier indictment of how poorly I’m doing things. Success seems long gone, like something I had, but then lost.

Of course, as I mull all of this (regularly…daily.. hourly), the negative self-talk in my brain then leads me to the next “logical conclusion” – I’m a complete failure. FAILURE.

But, really? Failure? It’s extreme, but it’s right where the enemy wants me to sit. If he can convince me that I’m not good enough, that I’m not smart enough, that I’m not worthy of help, that I can’t figure out anything, that my business will NEVER recover… and on and on and on… then he is winning. He can keep me so distracted with feelings of failure and worry (and let’s face it, grief) that I am no longer effective in the ways that matter.

And what matters? God matters. Sharing how He has continued to provide for us through ALL of this matters. Giving him the glory and honor for what I HAVE been able to do matters. And honestly, I have been able to do so very much, even though, and because of Him. Even in the midst of very difficult circumstances, I have not stopped trying. I have not stopped building. I have not stopped working towards a better place. I have continued to give and help and share with others. And I have waited. I sat still when He told me to, and waited for healing and for strength and for renewal. All those things count as success. Sure, the bank account looks weak; the debt is a mountain. But those are not true measures of success.

Before I sat down to write this post, a verse of the day came through my email, (coincidence? I think no), and it instantly made me think about all this that I’ve been wrestling with for so long now. The verse is from 2 Corinthians 12:9, and it says, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Oof. If that isn’t the answer to all my ruminations and angst and worry, I don’t know what is! GOD’S POWER is made perfect in my weakness. Success is continuing to trust in Him and walk forward, knowing He is in charge and He will always provide. Success is doing what I can with the gifts He has given me, and knowing that my efforts matter, because they point to Him. Success is waking up every day, willing and ready to help and work and grow – so I can point to Him. And success is not letting the enemy distract me with worry. (No, I’m not very successful in that area yet, but I’m getting better, which is God’s power being made perfect).

So, for today, for this hour, I’m going to boast in my weaknesses and let God be who He is. I’m going to hold on to the grace that He offers and be thankful for my weaknesses that can shine a bright light on God’s providence and love for us. That is true success.